Fair Footwear 101

Considering I am a girl from a very rural part of Ohio (but really, my high school was in the middle of a corn field that smelled of straight swine feces), I know very little about anything and everything agriculture. I may have attended school on a corn field with farmers’ daughters and cowboys, but my heart has always been with the cities, suburbs and R&B music. Granted, you would think I would learn a little from my high school peers, but no. To make matters worse, since I graduated from the little farm that is River Valley High School, it has only gotten worse. I was assigned the task at my internship of attending the Marion County Fair. I was ready to take on the challenge head-on and expand my horizons.

The Marion County Fair is like a second Christmas to people in my community. It is a time where school kids are eager to see how their 4-H projects turn out, adults buy livestock, and toddlers are excited to ride the amusement park rides that were put together in 10 seconds flat. I, on the other hand, was just trying not to step in anything brown…which is impossible, in case you were wondering. I was out of my element as I was I was dodging dirty floating feathers from the chickens, watching goats get shaved in front of me and bumping into a cow by accident (excuse me ma’am).

My shoe ensemble for the day…

I was obviously not fitting in and it was my attire and attitude, no doubt. Since I was having a hard time changing my timid reaction to the animals, I could at least work on my attire. I did a harsh evaluation of my “get-up” (am I saying that right?) in the dirty, cracked mirror in the restroom and was ashamed. In my defense, I was asked spur-of-the-moment by my boss, Diane, to go and take pictures, but still…I was wreck under the fair standards: a red button up, and get this…white dress pants, and, wait for it…tall, white wedges.

Sure, I knew that I needed to be wearing jeans or some shorts, but what about the shoe game? My shoe closet consists of wedges, heels, flats, gym tennis shoes and flip-flops. The rest of the time that I spent at the fair was spent observing the footwear of all fair-goers, and this is what I found:

Ladies, if you are a true-blue, county fair lover, ya gotta invest in a pair of cowgirl boots. It is a must-have in the world of ag. Feel free to wear whatever you like with them. The “it ‘fit” to wear this year is the ever-so popular short denim shorts or sundress to walk that dirt catwalk as you parade through the different livestock exhibits. Listen to the poultry squawk as you strut passed them. Watch out for those dirty pigs though, they can get nasty with their swine calls.

Don’t worry about losing any credibility or authenticity by getting girly boots, ladies!

Easily worn with basketball shorts or jeans…just not jorts.

Gentlemen, don’t get the idea that what your feet are wearing isn’t important! Cowboy boots are the main thing to wear for both men and women…but spare yourselves (and others) and skip the denim shorts…forever. Another popular option for men are the versatile steel-toed boots. These shoes can easily transition from work life to night life with a quick change of clothes.

Steel-toed boots are easy on the eyes and are great for working AND lounging! Win-Win.

 

 

 

 

 

 

For the guys that may not be participating in the events of the fair and don’t own their own pair of steel-toes boots or cowboy boots, never fear! There were plenty of boat shoes, tennis shoes, and even the classic dad style of strappy mandals with socks.

Now this is what I’m used to seeing! P.S. Those boots…Wowzas.

 

 

A big surprise for me was that flip-flops are a big thing to wear for the people who need to get some sun on their feet. They may not be the most practical choice, but flip-flops  and sandals were not uncommon for people who didn’t mind getting their feet a little dirty and smelly.

Brave souls…maybe she just wanted to show off those zebra toes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For the youngins’ who think little cowboy or cowgirl booties are stiff and uncomfortable, crocs are never frowned upon and are even seen as adorable for children under the age of 10.

Webbed shoes are also better than wedges, in case you wondering about that. I saw A LOT of webbed shoes and ankle bracelets

 

As you can see, there are many options of shoes for fair-goers…just not wedges or pumps. There was a happy ending to my tragic story, luckily. Diane just so happened to have some tennys for me in her back seat. I may not have gotten it right this time, but now I know and I definitely learned my lesson!

Much better. Of course there was still the pants dilemma…

The Trouble With Cheeks

Some may refer to the plumpest part of their cheek as the apple. I refer mine as the pumpkins. They are so big they look as if they don’t belong on my face. I’m sure fellow chubby cheekers can relate. Here are only a few things that we put up with on the daily.

You will never be able to take a decent picture. Only if you have a lot of practice can you master the perfect picture. Every time you try to take a nice picture, your eyes will disappear behind your cheeks in every single one. You are always the annoying person to ask o take another picture or have to take at least a dozen selfies before you find it suitable for social media. You try to compensate for your cheeks by opening your eyes wider but you just end up looking like this:

 

Looking even younger when you’re young. It doesn’t matter if you’re 12 or 25, people are always going to guess you’re 12. Just get used to taking out your ID everywhere you go because no one is going to think you are over 18 years old. No one will believe your age until you start getting crow’s feet.

This is my roommate and me. We were both 20 in this picture…

 

Beware the elderly. With a set of plump cheeks, you must always be on the defense. There will always be an elderly woman that will come out of nowhere with the pinchers out. I am 20 years old and I am still on the look out…you can never be too sure. Sometimes, you just have to be straightforward with your response: “Listen lady, I know that they look like they can be pinched off but they can’t, I have tried.” But to no avail, they continue valiantly trying.

This is what I encounter. Every. Single. Day.

You’re always going to look pudgy. Run as many miles as you want, you’re not losing those cheeks.

You may not be proportional to your other cheeks. If you’re like me, your cheeks may not be distributed as evenly as you would like…

That’s me on the left…and I thought spandex was supposed to make your butt look good…

 

CHEEK PERKS!!! 

Looking young when you’re old. On the flip side, when you’re embarrassed to say your age, everyone will think you are at least 7-10 years younger than what you are. Other people are getting injections put in their faces for something yo mama already gave ya!

You are destined to be adorable. It’s inevitable. Just look at my Grammy…that is going to be us in a few decades, chubby cheekers!